Empty

I am generally a very emotional person. I cry at weddings, at engagement or baby news and when I’m just sad. I have learned to control these emotions quite well as of lately, until my super sweet kitty Ceecee went missing. I last saw him on October 6th in my garage. It is very out of character for him to just up and leave, especially because he is neutered, which decreases or eliminates their desire to roam.

Nothing in life has trained my emotions to deal with such a lost, empty feeling. The butterflies in my stomach will not go away. The questions will not stop running through my head. Why did he leave? Where is he? Did someone take him? He is hurt? Alive? Lost? Is he coming back?

Being here at home I simply cannot stop going to the door to see if he is there. I have scoured our yard, neighborhood and woods behind our house since Saturday morning with no signs of Ceecee boy. Fliers of posted throughout my subdivision and the adjoining neighborhood.

I did get one call this morning in response to my fliers. A potential Ceecee sighting one street over from mine, but sadly when I got home I was not able to find him. I did spot a Ceecee look-a-like over the weekend and wonder if this is who was spotted. I’m not giving up hope that he will return. Many friends have reassured me that their cats have gone missing for 1, 2 or 3 weeks and returned to their surprise. I hope and pray with all my heart that the Lord will bring our little Cee Monkey back to us safe and sound.

I still feel like I’m going to wake up from this horrible nightmare and he will be there under my neck purring, like always. He is never not purring, EVER. It was the strangest thing. Even at the vet where most cats are terrified and angry, he would just sing the whole time. I love my Beebee, don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to leave her out. She is still gracing our family. She is my heart, but her brother just had some aura about him that just lifted you up because he was ALWAYS in such a loving mood.

It’s so hard to go out looking for him. Calling his name and praying you hear his little ‘maow’ back, not ‘meow.’ He is very vocal and loves to talk. Calling for him and wondering if he can hear me is just so sad. Seeing the geckos in our bathroom window at night also hit me hard and make me miss him so much more. He loves to sit up there and watch for the geckos on the outside of the glass. Each time when we come home and he’s not sitting in his typical chair in the garage just makes me so sad. Waiting and watching the door go up to slowly reveal the empty chair just breaks my heart all over. Driving through my neighborhood every day and passing so many of his ‘missing’ signs with his picture just tears me to pieces. I drive by and think, I put that sign there and that is MY cat that is missing. Lord have mercy.

I will keep everyone posted if he returns. Our family appreciates your prayers. We miss our sweet little man so bad.